Our Lady of Kibeho Says to Listen, Fast and Pray

Last night, May 2, 2010, I experienced the gift of listening to a talk given by Immaculee Ilibagiza at St. John Neumann Church in Austin, Texas. She spoke of the appearances of the Blessed Virgin to some school girls in Kibeho, Rwanda, 12 years before the genocide. Those school girls are about my age, although Immaculee is a few years younger. She told us about how she used to pray that the Virgin would come to her and to her friends, and how she was disappointed at first when she heard about the appearances in Kibeho, because she'd been so sure that the Virgin would come to her first!

Apparently, Our Lady of Kibeho spoke a particularly positive message, even more positive than Lourdes, and certainly more positive than Fatima. However, included in Our Lady's message to the visionaries at Kibeho, was a hint of the genocide to come. The listeners were supposed to listen, fast and pray. Immaculee wondered aloud if the people of Rwanda had listened more deeply, and been more obedient in fasting and prayer, would the genocide that killed her family and many friends have been avoided?

In any case, Immaculee has been able to forgive, and listening to her last night, I could feel my heart opening over several ongoing situations in my life. It feels so good to just let things go and give people care and love instead of pointing a wagging finger.

That was last night. Today is Monday, and after a trying day at school, all my good feeling from last night has evaporated. It is entirely possible that I could wake up tomorrow with a minor case of whiplash after having almost been knocked down by two 7th grade boys who were "just playing."

I got my finger wagging and started fussing before I even realized that something wasn't quite right in my back and my neck after those two took me completely off guard and ran into me on my blind side during the passing period. My backside was the only thing that slowed them down.

They went from a full speed run to a near total stop when they rammed into me, in fact. I didn't see them coming, or I would have tried to avoid the collision. I'm just lucky they didn't knock me to the ground. Now, several hours later, I can still feel something's not right with my neck and back. We'll see if I'm sore tomorrow, after some Aleve and a good night's sleep.

So I ask myself, what would Immaculee do in this situation? Would Our Lady of Kibeho tell me to listen, fast and pray in my situation? I know Our Lady would want me to forgive, and I will. But first I will write an office referral so that a minimum of justice might be done.

It's not that I can't forgive. I expect to be able to. I just wish the forgiveness could come faster.

It occurs to me that the trick to being quick to forgive is to be able to separate your own well being in God, from the harm that's been done to you. I think the more I am genuinely able to rest in the Lord, then the more I can accept Him to be my vindicator.

He will comfort me so I don't have to seek out any kind of revenge or self-satisfaction. Right? That's what I hope for, anyway.

The good news is, in less than a month, the school year will be over and this day will be only an uncomfortable memory.

At least, unlike Immaculee, I have never had to hide for 91 days in a 3 foot by 4 foot bathroom.

05/03/10